I will admit to feeling rather laid back this month, I think in a good way. I’ve curbed my reflective – ‘what is the meaning of life’ thoughts and just got on with stuff. Nothing ground breaking but just getting on with stuff has been good. Of course it’s not quite enough just to get on with stuff because I’m starting to think about the stuff I’ve been getting on with and if it’s been worthy or useful or interesting. And that’s where I’m currently at – what makes the stuff we do interesting – to us or to anyone else?
One of the questions I find very hard to answer is when someone asks me what I’ve been up to? I go blank and my inner voice starts to panic – what have I done that is interesting enough to share? I have this fear of being the boring old woman who goes on and on about her stuff and that the stuff isn’t interesting enough to go on about.
This dilemma is a strange one in a way because I do generally find people’s day to day lives rather interesting. As a researcher I am always asking other people to talk about their thoughts and ideas and I usually find them all very interesting. The same in my counselling – I hear about all sorts of lives and each one is intriguing and interesting. And to be fair most aren’t much different from mine or anyone else’s – just ordinary lives.
So this month I’m trying to accept the ordinary, embrace the ordinary and try and figure out the interest in my own ordinary life. I think perhaps my reflective period has dampened my ability to be in the here and now and embrace the ordinary because I’m too busy thinking about all the big and momentous things I should be doing (and googling famous successful people).
Some people keep gratitude diaries to remind themselves of what they have to be grateful for each day. It’s a lovely sentiment but it just feels a bit too reflective rather than proactive for me. So I’m thinking that an ‘I am interesting diary’ might be more practical and helpful. Writing down 3 things each day that I’ve either done, seen, read or heard that are interesting. I don’t know if it will make me realise that I do actually do stuff that is interesting, make me take more interest in things or help me in my own conversational skills about my life. So if you see me and ask me what I’ve been up to I aim to be more prepared to answer and wow you with my ordinary life.
……PS. I am slightly panicking about needing to find 3 things – maybe I’ll start with just one…